DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK

Glad to have me back and blogging publicly, Internet?

It's been a while, sheesh, "why have you foresaken me?" you ask me and I look at you and I say "oh baby, I was wandering but you're the one I came home to" OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT I DON'T KNOW THIS AIN'T A DRAMA.

Well it's nice to see that nothing has changed except the year on the calendar and also my nail polish color.

It's strange to be blogging again, or at least, I should say, it's strange to want to start blogging again - what do bloggers in 2013 do? Can it still be me, me, me? Should I include some things I've written down someplace else? I only remembered this blog because I transferred into another section of an English class I was already taken on a whim because I felt the pressures of ~*~senior year~*~ (yes, when I left you, I was a lowly freshman in the same spot in the library and look at me now. Started from the bottom y'all) and decided (last minute apparently) to take another teacher that had better reviews at 9-something in the morning and because I'm always awkward and always nervous. It was a nice moment to realize that I had this class in the same classroom as that class I so loved Fall of 2010. It is so transformed, as am I, and it's comforting as well as discomforting, but this campus is like a photo album to me already. I can't believe I'm a senior and will begin to transition into the next stage and decide where the heck my life goes soon. It was just yesterday I was transformed from my first real and - just saw a teacher I had at 8 AM last semester. I love him! I want to be a teacher terribly! It just keeps happening! How?! - obscure English class and now I am transformed from my first 3/4 years of real and obscure life as an English major, as a functioning individual, as the girl who stole your cat. It's weird though, right?

I'm trying to gather all my English department friends together so we can all sit down and stuff our faces and tell each other what we plan on doing with our lives so we might stick together the best we can but it's akin to herding cats and also very troubling because someone usually says "I don't want to talk about it" and that's where we stop it. I'd like to try my best to keep in touch with as many people from here for the rest of our lives as possible but I guess it's like the graduation of high school and how the ones who matter somehow stick around. Then again, we don't all hail from the same hometown but "I don't want to talk about it".

So I won't.

So it goes.

AMIRITE YAWL. Oh man, what fun it's been! Look at where we are - I was so uncomfortable here! So terribly displaced and trying to find a niche and then the years flew by and now I am so comfortable. I have a home that I've lived in for three years so far. Once in a tall building, once in a short building and then into a cozy and rotten cottage that I am still in with a girl who has encompassed everything you want in a roommate - respectful and kind and funny and loving and concerned and friendly and fun etcetcetc. And my friends! These sweethearts. How did I win the lottery with them? How did we find each other? Chance! How had I survived without them before! Even my friends from home have remained the same and are still a huge anchor to who I am and who I have (for the most part) always been. And that dumb, beautiful boy! How did that happen? And my courses! I have had the honor of studying under many dedicated and talented people and have come away from so many classes with all kinds of inspiration.

It's been a ride, y'all. I have been built and rebuilt and burned and molded and amazed in who I am and who I am becoming and where I have come from.

after a way too long haitus i have returned. i sit here on my bed in my dorm room listening to a new CD i bought over the weekend. i did a lot this weekend, not too much and not too much towards school but more in life sorting. and also cleaning. everything is going along well, dont worry about me. being home was a nice change, it was so surreal to have my friend Kelley pick me up at my dorm and then wait with me at the train station and then riding home and having my friend leave at her station in DC and then being alone. i don't think ill forget the feeling i got when i officially entered NJ. my conductor lady was so kind and it was so nice passing by my grandparent's train station and then pulling into my very own station. it all happened so fast, my parents were trying to find a parking spot and so i grabbed my luggage turned down an offer for help (thank you, but i can do it, i'm a jersey girl!) and being home. my cat looked so small and was so light when i picked him up (that soon changed after a month!). it was nice to be home but at the same time, it was also very awkward. i dont really live there anymore and neither do some of my friends and so i was there early and sometimes we couldnt hangout. i think, once again, i built up my trip home that it could not live up to my expectations. for the most part hanging out with my friends was a healing time. sometimes, though, i could feel the distance between us. im scared that since PV isnt there to anchor all of us, we are drifting. the holidays were good. i could only enjoy christmas for a day, once again my extended family got me random things that i had to return the next day but for the most part i really didn't want presents, i just wanted to eat ham with my family. i also took along my disposable cameras and snapped a lot of good photos and i was glad to be able to revisit all the winter adventures when i developed them two days ago. they are all up on my way and i love waking up and looking over to my big wall covered in memories and friends. cheesy i know. it was nice being home. i went to nyc with friends and just walked and shopped and got a little lost and went to the diner and had a good day. other days it was a quiet hangout with my friends in a basement or in a nice cafe visit. i miss them and i cant wait for summer to see them again. ill try not build too many expectations but i can tell you that i will be going to a lot of concerts this summer and it is real hard to wait.
anyways, just wanted to check in and let you know that i'm still alive and well and hectic.

stay tuned for next time:
car wreak, my dorm room and a post dedicated to my girl, KITTY, who reads this!

Homeward Bound

anyone remember that classic? loved the cat, so sassy!

tomorrow i go to the train station and chugga chugga WOO WOO my way home.

i am super excited and super nervous and all around antsy slash jittery.
i have made so many plans, no actual dates and times but i cant wait. i hope everything
goes as planned and its smooth sailing - training? - and peaceful and relaxing and fun!

COFFEEEEEEE

studying for finals means that i have been consuming large black coffees basically daily. i am not feeling the effects. i never drink coffee more than the occasional mocha frappachino. does that even have coffee in it? well, i feel it! i am being very productive, though i will be tired tomorrow morning. hm. todo: pack. clean. shower. test. go home. (not in that order) (maybe).

uhmuhmuhm. woah. okay just wanted to say that. also:
my friends are starting to leave and a lot of people are transferring! whats up with that!?