well. summer is almost over, for me.

its like nothing happened but everything happened to get me here, where i am now. i sit here with a trunk and three full suitcases and one empty suitcase. like, man, take off. its all really fast. just yesterday i was falling asleep next to a great friend on a bus coming home from a great fieldtrip. and now, i am definitly going to alabama and my aunts are coming and my uncle is coming and my cousins are coming and my parents are coming. like, the troops are coming down for me. so many people have given me gifts and i have no idea how to repay them or thank them enough. school is just around the corner and i have three days left in NJ.

you know, i'm going to miss new jersey. a lot.

i was at the diner the other day with my mom and we were talking to our friend who works behind the cash register and we were talking about college and alabama and missing this diner and she just reaches under the counter, takes a mug out and is like FOR YOU. REMEMBER THIS DINER. free of charge. i love new jersey and it will be very hard to read this over again when i am in alabama. sure ill get used to it and sure ill make friends and have fun, but alabama can never be new jersey. ive had an absolute dream of a time here. and whats more, i love my friends. they are so good to me and deserve so much out of life.

its scary going to college. i need to study hard and enjoy my time there but its unbelieveable that i am going to college. not that i wouldnt but its strange because i dont feel older or wiser or different from when i was just a freshman or, what this whole thing reminds me of, kindergarten. Kindergarten is when we were away from our parents for 3 hours a day. i was in the afternoon class and gosh, i was so scared. new people, new places, responsibilities and so much to think about. i waited to go to the bathroom at home because i was afraid of school. i didnt trust it. and then, i started making friends and playing with boys and i became comfortable so that when first grade rolled around, i got used to the 6 hour days and the sharing of books and i grew to not miss show and tell so much.

i mean look at us now. we are still little. we are still just beginning and we are still afraid. yes we are. admit it. its all new, its all a dramatic change from what we knew. from what we know. i will miss my PV/LF days. they were good times and i am grateful for the friends that they left me with but i am excited to begin something new. and all those times i said I CANT WAIT TO GET OUT OF HERE and all the stress is going to give me, hopefully, good times in college and good times with new friends. but i cant wait to come home and see my friends. i cant even call them old friends, though some are technically, they will always be my friends/best friends/fantastic friends. and the new ones who come along will be new for a while and then will just be under friends.

i cant wait, but still i can. i want more time to be at home or with my cat or with my grandparents. i want more late night driving or adventures or just plain old sleepovers. i want more NJ air in my lungs and i want to drive around NJ with the windows down. i could do that forever. NJ is where i came from. ill always be jenny from the block. ill always love it. no matter how great bama is, NJ YOU KNOW.



i never did a graduation post. well yes i did, but i havent posted it. im sorry. maybe one day i will. aha, like you really want to hear it anyway.

oh.
that made me sound like a religious fanatic.

i'm at work right now, typing very softly. can't speak. okay, you got me, yes i can. BAH! boss is a comin'

i was reading/going through the bible with my dad (michelle, we still have to do that PLUS! weird NJ PLUS! pajama time! miss you!!!!!)
and we were reading ecclesiastes 1 and boy oh boy was that good! . google it!
basically, i was tearing up a bit and it was really hitting me.

"there is nothing new under the sun"
"the increase of knowledge is the increase of sorrow"

i think i'm officially going to alabama again. but lets not count on this, this may just be a lie.

p.s. my room is becoming cleaner by the day and i totally forgot about so many outfits! i've just begun putting things together! its great! and today i got white shoes so look out! more skirts are coming out of the woodwork ... er ... closet? ahhaaha


plus! i forgot the saying "outta sight" until now. how did this happen?! why dont people say this more often!?

actually...
my last post was weird. or maybe i am feeling a bit weird now.
i dont feel like its summer. i dont feel like im having all the adventures i wanted to.
i am feeling a bit of island-syndrome, where you kinda feel apart of the action. katherine, you were in california. i know, i know.
i feel like im not squeezing all i can out of this summer as i should. i feel like i should be doing nothing with good people at like 4 o'clock in the morning and then coming home and making some tea and then going to sleep and waking up at 9 for another great day.

today, oh gosh im ashamed to admit it, i woke up at 1 o'clock. LIKE WHAT???? oh gosh. i need to start using my alarm. :[

and uh, then i watched cops. yeah.

okay. a list! i know, you love them.

TO DO:
ho-boh-khan, with friends, again
city, with friends
city, alone
grandparent's house, alone
shore, with friends
thrift store shopping, with friends
yearbook signing, with friends!!!!!
running/more likely walking, with interested friends?
laying out in my backyard, alone? with friends?
o.m.g. clean your room you horder, definitly alone.

i like organization. but i hate cleaning.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ck0qjIqoN9s&playnext_from=TL&videos=Xqz-RlkVG7M

this is how i feel right now. SUMMER FOREVER!