well. summer is almost over, for me.

its like nothing happened but everything happened to get me here, where i am now. i sit here with a trunk and three full suitcases and one empty suitcase. like, man, take off. its all really fast. just yesterday i was falling asleep next to a great friend on a bus coming home from a great fieldtrip. and now, i am definitly going to alabama and my aunts are coming and my uncle is coming and my cousins are coming and my parents are coming. like, the troops are coming down for me. so many people have given me gifts and i have no idea how to repay them or thank them enough. school is just around the corner and i have three days left in NJ.

you know, i'm going to miss new jersey. a lot.

i was at the diner the other day with my mom and we were talking to our friend who works behind the cash register and we were talking about college and alabama and missing this diner and she just reaches under the counter, takes a mug out and is like FOR YOU. REMEMBER THIS DINER. free of charge. i love new jersey and it will be very hard to read this over again when i am in alabama. sure ill get used to it and sure ill make friends and have fun, but alabama can never be new jersey. ive had an absolute dream of a time here. and whats more, i love my friends. they are so good to me and deserve so much out of life.

its scary going to college. i need to study hard and enjoy my time there but its unbelieveable that i am going to college. not that i wouldnt but its strange because i dont feel older or wiser or different from when i was just a freshman or, what this whole thing reminds me of, kindergarten. Kindergarten is when we were away from our parents for 3 hours a day. i was in the afternoon class and gosh, i was so scared. new people, new places, responsibilities and so much to think about. i waited to go to the bathroom at home because i was afraid of school. i didnt trust it. and then, i started making friends and playing with boys and i became comfortable so that when first grade rolled around, i got used to the 6 hour days and the sharing of books and i grew to not miss show and tell so much.

i mean look at us now. we are still little. we are still just beginning and we are still afraid. yes we are. admit it. its all new, its all a dramatic change from what we knew. from what we know. i will miss my PV/LF days. they were good times and i am grateful for the friends that they left me with but i am excited to begin something new. and all those times i said I CANT WAIT TO GET OUT OF HERE and all the stress is going to give me, hopefully, good times in college and good times with new friends. but i cant wait to come home and see my friends. i cant even call them old friends, though some are technically, they will always be my friends/best friends/fantastic friends. and the new ones who come along will be new for a while and then will just be under friends.

i cant wait, but still i can. i want more time to be at home or with my cat or with my grandparents. i want more late night driving or adventures or just plain old sleepovers. i want more NJ air in my lungs and i want to drive around NJ with the windows down. i could do that forever. NJ is where i came from. ill always be jenny from the block. ill always love it. no matter how great bama is, NJ YOU KNOW.

i never did a graduation post. well yes i did, but i havent posted it. im sorry. maybe one day i will. aha, like you really want to hear it anyway.

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