i have a lot of habits. i wish one that i didnt have was: i have been known to walk with like a fierce look. i wish i didnt do that! when i walk, i just fall into the mold of chin up, strong strides and as if i was looking down at you. this is not my personality at all! im not a cocky person on the inside - far from it - i just seem to walk that way. freudian slip? :D
8.30.2010
DAY TWO
my blogger name came to me as i was listening to one of the most influential bands i have ever known. it is essentially, a one man band, who brings his friends in to add to his sound. his music is soft and simple but really facinates me with his loaded lyrics. oh im so deep. long story short the band is named "flowers from the man who shot your cousin" - which i just get a kick out of all the time - and i just sat down and swapped words here and there. _____s from the ___ who ___ your ____. you could fill it in with all kinds of words. jellybeans from the aunt who ate your sandwich, suitcases from the airline who jipped your best friend, postcards from the neighbor who stole your identity. actually some good ones could be made! i really like the last one! maybe postcards from the neighbor who stole your plane-ticket? hmmmm. well yes, so thats it. i was young and silly and im still young and silly so it still fits! and the length is just long enough for you to be like HMMM, ILL JUST CHECK THIS ONE OUT.
that graduation post that should be posted on all decent blogs
hello, i know you are all so worried and anxious to hear about a little day in the life of a high school gradutate. SO! ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, young and ....everyone who follows me is young so ... grab your seats, grab some cola, or water for those of us who are health conscious, and let the show begin!
The Kids Sleeping on the OPGRAD Bus Going Home.
After a long day of doing a lot of stuff that I feel that i did but really cant recall, we all thanked the mothers for a goodie bag and found a seat (this time! not thirsty! not tired! not smushed in a three seater!) on a bus towards home. Personally, mel (h) and i grabbed a nice seat near the middle of the bus, because that is where you get just the right amount of air and as we rode home laughing and giggling and, well basically, she almost tipped over when SHE fell asleep and i saved her, i noticed that it was only me, steve k, and nick h that were the only ones awake. i turned around and the bus, THE SAME BUS THAT WAS UBER ANNOYING ON THE RIDE TO, was all snoozing and drifting and doing that sticky and slow blinking that one does when they are tired on the ride fro. i remember looking over across the aisle at kyle h. CREEPY? no. he was sleeping in a normal way, head against windows, goodie bag under head, mouth open, diamond earrings? check. and i couldnt help but think of him as a little boy. a baby even. i mean, i never talked to him once, and he probably didnt know my name and will never know my name except for when he looks at my yearbook picture and says: "who the fuck is katherine ko-sitch?!" but i knew a little bit of him. he bounces when he walks, he has had the same girl for like 6 years, thats it? i mean, did his parents ever think of him the morning after graduation when they were teaching him how to walk or holding him close as a baby. he fell, he cried, he laughed and now he is like 18 years old, leaving home. all these kids on the bus rides, they were all smelly little babies and in that moment, you could still say they were. we all drifted home, bumping along here and there but for the most part, we were all together still. we were still united on that bus ride. and we were experiencing the last fleeting moments of our high school time, heck, our childhood. it was a nice bus ride home.
Graduation. Senior Year in Review.
all in all, i didnt feel like a senior at all this entire year, i didnt feel like it was all ending and i still dont understand that come september i will not be going through the PV doors. graduation was weird because of this. also because they said "yes, we all know where we are going" haha i wanted to stand up with my finger raised and be like, "well, not ALL of us...". that was a joke. not so funny. 'it was all a dream' best captures the feelings. walking there, having the robes on, sitting by mr. c my old chemistry teacher and walking up and getting my diploma (people cheered for me!) was all surreal. i felt like i did all of that but like, it was no big deal, that it was just another test run. all in all, it was a weird time. not sure if i am happy to leave or am sad to leave. another time maybe.
OPGRAD. Enough Memories?
opgrad was always something i never thought of. does that make sense? seriously man, i would see it on PVTV all the time when i was smaller or even an underclassman and it never applied to me. and then suddenly, i was there. graduation was weird and then i went to the diner with my family and then i scraped my knee and i still have a scar and then i went into the hot gris gym and then i got on a bus and then i got there and then i walked around and then i felt awkward and then i went to the psychic and then i found friends and then i went to the psychic again and then i met up with really great kids and then i versed a friend and then i watched a hypnotist and then i rummaged for a shirt and then i left. and it was like, WHAT?! i mean, i did a lot but i could have done more. but i had a good time. i feel like i should have seen more people or drank more soda or just talked to more people but i was so happy talking to the three people i was with. i was so happy. i love everyone! it all went by so quickly
The Drive After OPGRAD
after we got back to PV it was wierd. like, it was so early but still so much had happened. i didnt know what to do and i didnt see one of my friends so i got back into my car but on the way i saw all the people i graduated with. i saw all of our little bodies and minds walking in different directions. we had scattered. i felt a little blue. like, it was over. for real. i mean the bus ride still bonded us but now, now it was free game and we had split. it was over. the boy who parked next to me was also in his car. football player, wrestler, tall, known to be like talking to a brickwall and i never talked a day in my life to him and we looked at eachother and i saw that he too was feeling it. the end had actually come, after months and years even of bitching and moaning and it was here in the present. he didnt seem estatic and neither did i. we were 2 of 326 graduating SEN10RS who felt lost. sure, i see his fbook pics of his escapades but still, that morning, i will never forget him for the look in his eyes. the vast time ahead of us, the unsure feeling im pretty sure we all had. some of us hid it well and some ignored it, but it was there, we all know that. after that i drove around for a half an hour, driving down and up annie's road, by diners and highways and just looking at everything in a new way. just looking at all the space and thinking of what was to become of us.
How I feel old but Really Im young:
Isnt that strange? eighteen years, a long time, has gone by and ive entered and graduated from the public school system. so many years! so long! so many memories! and yet, i have so much time left and so much to do. granted, i do have this time if nothing goes wrong, but lets not get gruesome here! i mean we all have so much to complete. i cant wait to see where life brings some of my friends, i cant wait to hear of all the adventures of my fellow graduating class, i cant wait to be like 60 and think back.
the days these days are fickle. some days are drawn out and feel like an eternity. graduation day was one of those days, i did so much but at the time everything felt so long. recently, time has been flying though! today i realized that its the end of august! how has it that graduation day was like ... TWO MONTHS AGO.
i returned to PV for my gym clothes. i found out they threw them out. i dont even want to think of what irreplaceable vintage shirt they tossed out. PLUS MY PUMA PANTS PLUS MY BLACK SNEAKERS PLUS MY ADIDAS PANTS. :[ so materialistic. anyways, the hallways were still pretty long but the magic was all gone. corny? no really. there was no wondering of where my classes would be and i didnt really care where my classes were (except for the great ones) and all those memories that i had just seemed to not matter anymore and that was really sad. like for the past 4 years i would be able to at least have a chance of bringing up said memories with random people and friends but now its like "why would you bring that up?" (unless its with my friends, dont even get me started on how we love to reminice.) its just, well, im a stranger now.
is it too late to post this? well, if anyone cares, this is how i felt and how i sort of feel still. plus it'll be a good read for future me.
The Kids Sleeping on the OPGRAD Bus Going Home.
After a long day of doing a lot of stuff that I feel that i did but really cant recall, we all thanked the mothers for a goodie bag and found a seat (this time! not thirsty! not tired! not smushed in a three seater!) on a bus towards home. Personally, mel (h) and i grabbed a nice seat near the middle of the bus, because that is where you get just the right amount of air and as we rode home laughing and giggling and, well basically, she almost tipped over when SHE fell asleep and i saved her, i noticed that it was only me, steve k, and nick h that were the only ones awake. i turned around and the bus, THE SAME BUS THAT WAS UBER ANNOYING ON THE RIDE TO, was all snoozing and drifting and doing that sticky and slow blinking that one does when they are tired on the ride fro. i remember looking over across the aisle at kyle h. CREEPY? no. he was sleeping in a normal way, head against windows, goodie bag under head, mouth open, diamond earrings? check. and i couldnt help but think of him as a little boy. a baby even. i mean, i never talked to him once, and he probably didnt know my name and will never know my name except for when he looks at my yearbook picture and says: "who the fuck is katherine ko-sitch?!" but i knew a little bit of him. he bounces when he walks, he has had the same girl for like 6 years, thats it? i mean, did his parents ever think of him the morning after graduation when they were teaching him how to walk or holding him close as a baby. he fell, he cried, he laughed and now he is like 18 years old, leaving home. all these kids on the bus rides, they were all smelly little babies and in that moment, you could still say they were. we all drifted home, bumping along here and there but for the most part, we were all together still. we were still united on that bus ride. and we were experiencing the last fleeting moments of our high school time, heck, our childhood. it was a nice bus ride home.
Graduation. Senior Year in Review.
all in all, i didnt feel like a senior at all this entire year, i didnt feel like it was all ending and i still dont understand that come september i will not be going through the PV doors. graduation was weird because of this. also because they said "yes, we all know where we are going" haha i wanted to stand up with my finger raised and be like, "well, not ALL of us...". that was a joke. not so funny. 'it was all a dream' best captures the feelings. walking there, having the robes on, sitting by mr. c my old chemistry teacher and walking up and getting my diploma (people cheered for me!) was all surreal. i felt like i did all of that but like, it was no big deal, that it was just another test run. all in all, it was a weird time. not sure if i am happy to leave or am sad to leave. another time maybe.
OPGRAD. Enough Memories?
opgrad was always something i never thought of. does that make sense? seriously man, i would see it on PVTV all the time when i was smaller or even an underclassman and it never applied to me. and then suddenly, i was there. graduation was weird and then i went to the diner with my family and then i scraped my knee and i still have a scar and then i went into the hot gris gym and then i got on a bus and then i got there and then i walked around and then i felt awkward and then i went to the psychic and then i found friends and then i went to the psychic again and then i met up with really great kids and then i versed a friend and then i watched a hypnotist and then i rummaged for a shirt and then i left. and it was like, WHAT?! i mean, i did a lot but i could have done more. but i had a good time. i feel like i should have seen more people or drank more soda or just talked to more people but i was so happy talking to the three people i was with. i was so happy. i love everyone! it all went by so quickly
The Drive After OPGRAD
after we got back to PV it was wierd. like, it was so early but still so much had happened. i didnt know what to do and i didnt see one of my friends so i got back into my car but on the way i saw all the people i graduated with. i saw all of our little bodies and minds walking in different directions. we had scattered. i felt a little blue. like, it was over. for real. i mean the bus ride still bonded us but now, now it was free game and we had split. it was over. the boy who parked next to me was also in his car. football player, wrestler, tall, known to be like talking to a brickwall and i never talked a day in my life to him and we looked at eachother and i saw that he too was feeling it. the end had actually come, after months and years even of bitching and moaning and it was here in the present. he didnt seem estatic and neither did i. we were 2 of 326 graduating SEN10RS who felt lost. sure, i see his fbook pics of his escapades but still, that morning, i will never forget him for the look in his eyes. the vast time ahead of us, the unsure feeling im pretty sure we all had. some of us hid it well and some ignored it, but it was there, we all know that. after that i drove around for a half an hour, driving down and up annie's road, by diners and highways and just looking at everything in a new way. just looking at all the space and thinking of what was to become of us.
How I feel old but Really Im young:
Isnt that strange? eighteen years, a long time, has gone by and ive entered and graduated from the public school system. so many years! so long! so many memories! and yet, i have so much time left and so much to do. granted, i do have this time if nothing goes wrong, but lets not get gruesome here! i mean we all have so much to complete. i cant wait to see where life brings some of my friends, i cant wait to hear of all the adventures of my fellow graduating class, i cant wait to be like 60 and think back.
the days these days are fickle. some days are drawn out and feel like an eternity. graduation day was one of those days, i did so much but at the time everything felt so long. recently, time has been flying though! today i realized that its the end of august! how has it that graduation day was like ... TWO MONTHS AGO.
i returned to PV for my gym clothes. i found out they threw them out. i dont even want to think of what irreplaceable vintage shirt they tossed out. PLUS MY PUMA PANTS PLUS MY BLACK SNEAKERS PLUS MY ADIDAS PANTS. :[ so materialistic. anyways, the hallways were still pretty long but the magic was all gone. corny? no really. there was no wondering of where my classes would be and i didnt really care where my classes were (except for the great ones) and all those memories that i had just seemed to not matter anymore and that was really sad. like for the past 4 years i would be able to at least have a chance of bringing up said memories with random people and friends but now its like "why would you bring that up?" (unless its with my friends, dont even get me started on how we love to reminice.) its just, well, im a stranger now.
is it too late to post this? well, if anyone cares, this is how i felt and how i sort of feel still. plus it'll be a good read for future me.
DAY ONE.
so i guess thats me. on a recent oovoo chat. (talking to strangers OBV.)
fifteen facts, huh?
1. my computer just died. and i brought it back to life by plugging it in.
1. my favorite snack is regular cheddar goldfish and orange juice from those little containers. i dont know what it is, maybe its the color orange.
1. i am not adjusting to college well. the girls are snotty and i havent even spoken to a boy yet and im just really out of my element here. everything i was loved for back home is like uncool or wierd. i guess i just havent found my core crew yet. i cant wait until that happens.
1. there was a majorly huge cockroach in my room about 5 days ago. the staff did not help kill it and laughed at me and my room-mate (2 northerners who know nothing about roaches) and when someone did come to help (a drunk girl) she just scared it and it showed up 20 minutes later and it scurried into a crack. i cried for the entire night.
1. im not a princess. i do, however, have princess-like thoughts that i try my best not to let out. i am a city girl and have been very blessed for the past 18 years of my life. sometimes i dont know what to do.
1. people back home said i was a hipster, but i dont know what i am.
1. i have a blog that is about nothing and is everything to me.
1. today i had a meeting with my school newspaper, i hope to write for the opinions section. i wanted to do the photography but i dont have a DSLR. (i know mrs vasa! so unfair! and they dont do film!)
1. i didnt bring enough clothes to college. i thought id be living in a closet but i have so much unused space!
1. i feel really overwhelmed because i ended up sticking with the sorority, i am sort of bipolar with it, but usually i regret doing it most of the time. but when i am happy with it, it is the best thing in the world. i might not continue with it next year, we'll see how it goes.
1. my dorm room half is split in my personality/ies. my sleeping side is really simple and under stated with a very minimalist approach and my desk/closet area is filled with posters and photos and desk supplies and hats and statues and books and nicknacks and it really just sort of matches! its all very new and old and mishmoshy and surprisingly clean and ORGANIZED!
1. i miss my friends so dearly that it hurts to think that i have months until i see them!
1. the boy i like only talks to me through facebook chat. it makes my heart skips a beat everytime i hear that POP when he starts a new conversation. i wrote in his yearbook that he had to start the conversations because i liked his humor and that i was too afraid to make the first move and so far he has kept his word!!
1. i feel like such a sap sometimes!
1. my classes are really fun! i have philosophy and russian and geography and world literature! i dont have much work to do but it is legit!
fifteen facts, huh?
1. my computer just died. and i brought it back to life by plugging it in.
1. my favorite snack is regular cheddar goldfish and orange juice from those little containers. i dont know what it is, maybe its the color orange.
1. i am not adjusting to college well. the girls are snotty and i havent even spoken to a boy yet and im just really out of my element here. everything i was loved for back home is like uncool or wierd. i guess i just havent found my core crew yet. i cant wait until that happens.
1. there was a majorly huge cockroach in my room about 5 days ago. the staff did not help kill it and laughed at me and my room-mate (2 northerners who know nothing about roaches) and when someone did come to help (a drunk girl) she just scared it and it showed up 20 minutes later and it scurried into a crack. i cried for the entire night.
1. im not a princess. i do, however, have princess-like thoughts that i try my best not to let out. i am a city girl and have been very blessed for the past 18 years of my life. sometimes i dont know what to do.
1. people back home said i was a hipster, but i dont know what i am.
1. i have a blog that is about nothing and is everything to me.
1. today i had a meeting with my school newspaper, i hope to write for the opinions section. i wanted to do the photography but i dont have a DSLR. (i know mrs vasa! so unfair! and they dont do film!)
1. i didnt bring enough clothes to college. i thought id be living in a closet but i have so much unused space!
1. i feel really overwhelmed because i ended up sticking with the sorority, i am sort of bipolar with it, but usually i regret doing it most of the time. but when i am happy with it, it is the best thing in the world. i might not continue with it next year, we'll see how it goes.
1. my dorm room half is split in my personality/ies. my sleeping side is really simple and under stated with a very minimalist approach and my desk/closet area is filled with posters and photos and desk supplies and hats and statues and books and nicknacks and it really just sort of matches! its all very new and old and mishmoshy and surprisingly clean and ORGANIZED!
1. i miss my friends so dearly that it hurts to think that i have months until i see them!
1. the boy i like only talks to me through facebook chat. it makes my heart skips a beat everytime i hear that POP when he starts a new conversation. i wrote in his yearbook that he had to start the conversations because i liked his humor and that i was too afraid to make the first move and so far he has kept his word!!
1. i feel like such a sap sometimes!
1. my classes are really fun! i have philosophy and russian and geography and world literature! i dont have much work to do but it is legit!
maybe ill complete this promise.
Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 02- The meaning behind your title name
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12- How you found out about blogs and why you made one
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
Day 24- A letter to your parents
Day 25- What I would find in your bag
Day 26- What you think about your friends
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned
Day 30- Who are you?
hopefully ill actually do this. this seems pretty cool and it will be interesting blogging for 30 days straight!
Day 02- The meaning behind your title name
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12- How you found out about blogs and why you made one
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
Day 24- A letter to your parents
Day 25- What I would find in your bag
Day 26- What you think about your friends
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned
Day 30- Who are you?
hopefully ill actually do this. this seems pretty cool and it will be interesting blogging for 30 days straight!
8.26.2010
through the roof and underground
college has (so far) taught me:
1. i can do things by myself! no longer afraid to eat alone!
2. mail is so wonderful!
3. girls are disgusting!
4. girls most likely have a brain the size of a peanut, and it is mostly filled up by nike shorts colors, how to find low cut shirts that i can wear as a dress and how to keep a boyfriend (for status purposes only)
5. new jersians drive the best, all my new jersians: think of the worst driver youve ever encountered, they would be the best driving teacher out here (and by out here i mean, of course, ANYWHERE THAT ISNT JERSEY). FOR REAL.
i understand i am a girl and i understand that all the females that read my blog are technically girls. but i feel like, all in all, ive been blessed to only know women. actually grown up women who are, you know, smart and stuff. so far ive mostly been in contact with girls down here. i respect you guys (you girls? you ladies? you women? you females?!) so much so i dont mean this in any degrading way!
i miss home so much.
if it aint broke, dont fix it.
this reminds me of when youre feeling adventurous at your favorite place to eat and so you get something different from your usual dish and it was just a mistake. why did i trade jersey for this???????
1. i can do things by myself! no longer afraid to eat alone!
2. mail is so wonderful!
3. girls are disgusting!
4. girls most likely have a brain the size of a peanut, and it is mostly filled up by nike shorts colors, how to find low cut shirts that i can wear as a dress and how to keep a boyfriend (for status purposes only)
5. new jersians drive the best, all my new jersians: think of the worst driver youve ever encountered, they would be the best driving teacher out here (and by out here i mean, of course, ANYWHERE THAT ISNT JERSEY). FOR REAL.
i understand i am a girl and i understand that all the females that read my blog are technically girls. but i feel like, all in all, ive been blessed to only know women. actually grown up women who are, you know, smart and stuff. so far ive mostly been in contact with girls down here. i respect you guys (you girls? you ladies? you women? you females?!) so much so i dont mean this in any degrading way!
i miss home so much.
if it aint broke, dont fix it.
this reminds me of when youre feeling adventurous at your favorite place to eat and so you get something different from your usual dish and it was just a mistake. why did i trade jersey for this???????
8.21.2010
the thing i miss most about home is the driving.
of course i miss my friends first and my family first and i miss the comfort, but hold your horses, i'm getting to it!
i miss the act of driving. i miss the windows down and the freedom attached to when you first start the engine. i miss the choice of CDs and i miss waiting at red lights and attempting to not give into the curiosity of looking at the person next to you. i was just listening to The XX, You Got The Love, a cover of Florence and the Machines song. This is attached to my last full day in New Jersey. The day when i drove around getting last minute things, when i picked up a guy and we sailed all around garrett mountain in the failing light, of my drive to a house where all my friends had already met up. i miss sitting at the stop sign near my house and not wanting to take my foot off the brake because i knew this would be the last time i would be driving. i miss crying in the car as i drove away from my friends. even more in retrospect, i miss two summers ago when it was my first summer with a license. where the cat empire played from my speakers and i rolled home with just enough time to only be out driving only 30 minutes after the whole legal curfew (it was like 2 times tops, i was scared!) i miss the anticipation when youre driving to your friends house. thinking of what youll talk about, who youll see, what kind of shananagans youll get into tonight. i love parking the car and sitting there for .5 seconds just smiling, because your latest chill session with your best friends has just begun. i miss the texting or calling to see what door i should enter in and i miss opening the door and seeing all your friends look at you and smile back. i miss the wind in my hair as we sailed down the parkway or down 46 or up 17 or snailing through side streets, seeing other friends in their cars, doing their own thing. i miss rolling up to CLUB QUIKCHEK and seeing everyone and their brother there. i miss laughing and crying and listening and eating and waiting in line for the bathroom with my friends. i miss riding in cars with my friends. i miss when i couldnt drive and when i was ashamed to ask for rides from my friends. i miss packing for sleepovers and stuffing everything into the car. i miss after concert or after fencing car rides. questioning what we should do until we gave up and went to applebees, or quikchek. i miss complaining that there was nothing to do. i miss anticipating that really great mid day friday phone call or text saying "Danny's tonight?" or "Cawfee tawk tonight?" or just "Diner?". i miss sassy chats and long conversations ending in "oh, i dont know". i miss fencing bus rides and waiting in traffic. i miss late night driving. i miss drive through white castle. i miss the adventures and the times we got lost. i miss all the diners we traveled to and got lost going to. i miss the creepy gas station attendents. i miss "DUDE ITS TOTALLY JOHN CONTI" *both look and stare* *random man stares back* "UHHHHH, THATS NOT JOHN CONTI, THAT IS DEFINITLY NOT JOHN CONTI." *both laugh*. i miss "so what is wi-fi really?" "im glad you asked, cause i was wondering the same thing" "oh, you just didnt want to look stupid." "...yeah basically." "WEE-FEE". i miss being so afraid that the person in the white altima would kill us because matt flipped him off. i miss all the inside jokes that i cant seem to remember just right now but am smiling because i do remember they were hilarious.
Roadways, Highways, Turnpikes, Parkways, Side Streets, Parking Lots are a major part of our country. We invest much time and money into making sure there are few major potholes and safe stop lights. We spend a large part of our lifetime in a car. It is this freedom and this priviledge that I miss most. I miss the surprisingly large good times just from car rides. I miss the laughs and the smiling and the music and the time spent in cars with my friends. I miss my friends. I miss my mix CDs. I miss everything.
of course i miss my friends first and my family first and i miss the comfort, but hold your horses, i'm getting to it!
i miss the act of driving. i miss the windows down and the freedom attached to when you first start the engine. i miss the choice of CDs and i miss waiting at red lights and attempting to not give into the curiosity of looking at the person next to you. i was just listening to The XX, You Got The Love, a cover of Florence and the Machines song. This is attached to my last full day in New Jersey. The day when i drove around getting last minute things, when i picked up a guy and we sailed all around garrett mountain in the failing light, of my drive to a house where all my friends had already met up. i miss sitting at the stop sign near my house and not wanting to take my foot off the brake because i knew this would be the last time i would be driving. i miss crying in the car as i drove away from my friends. even more in retrospect, i miss two summers ago when it was my first summer with a license. where the cat empire played from my speakers and i rolled home with just enough time to only be out driving only 30 minutes after the whole legal curfew (it was like 2 times tops, i was scared!) i miss the anticipation when youre driving to your friends house. thinking of what youll talk about, who youll see, what kind of shananagans youll get into tonight. i love parking the car and sitting there for .5 seconds just smiling, because your latest chill session with your best friends has just begun. i miss the texting or calling to see what door i should enter in and i miss opening the door and seeing all your friends look at you and smile back. i miss the wind in my hair as we sailed down the parkway or down 46 or up 17 or snailing through side streets, seeing other friends in their cars, doing their own thing. i miss rolling up to CLUB QUIKCHEK and seeing everyone and their brother there. i miss laughing and crying and listening and eating and waiting in line for the bathroom with my friends. i miss riding in cars with my friends. i miss when i couldnt drive and when i was ashamed to ask for rides from my friends. i miss packing for sleepovers and stuffing everything into the car. i miss after concert or after fencing car rides. questioning what we should do until we gave up and went to applebees, or quikchek. i miss complaining that there was nothing to do. i miss anticipating that really great mid day friday phone call or text saying "Danny's tonight?" or "Cawfee tawk tonight?" or just "Diner?". i miss sassy chats and long conversations ending in "oh, i dont know". i miss fencing bus rides and waiting in traffic. i miss late night driving. i miss drive through white castle. i miss the adventures and the times we got lost. i miss all the diners we traveled to and got lost going to. i miss the creepy gas station attendents. i miss "DUDE ITS TOTALLY JOHN CONTI" *both look and stare* *random man stares back* "UHHHHH, THATS NOT JOHN CONTI, THAT IS DEFINITLY NOT JOHN CONTI." *both laugh*. i miss "so what is wi-fi really?" "im glad you asked, cause i was wondering the same thing" "oh, you just didnt want to look stupid." "...yeah basically." "WEE-FEE". i miss being so afraid that the person in the white altima would kill us because matt flipped him off. i miss all the inside jokes that i cant seem to remember just right now but am smiling because i do remember they were hilarious.
Roadways, Highways, Turnpikes, Parkways, Side Streets, Parking Lots are a major part of our country. We invest much time and money into making sure there are few major potholes and safe stop lights. We spend a large part of our lifetime in a car. It is this freedom and this priviledge that I miss most. I miss the surprisingly large good times just from car rides. I miss the laughs and the smiling and the music and the time spent in cars with my friends. I miss my friends. I miss my mix CDs. I miss everything.
8.19.2010
WRITTEN LAST NIGHT BEFORE MY COMPUTER RANDOMLY SHUT OFF.
i have a chance to go to a swap with a frat and the sorority that im in now and like, im nervous. im not sure if i want to / can go tonight. like it starts at 10 and like, im just scared a bit. like this is all new and id rather meet friends and boys like on my own terms but this is just awkward. im not very forward and im like shy when im out of my element. and i am so out of my element around sorority and frat kids. like, i would love to hangout with some nice guys and some nice girls but like, this is all too forced for me. im a bit of a homebody, like right now i would rather just staying in my bed and watching movies rather than going and feeling awkward for 2 hours. but i feel like its the first one of the year and i would like to start things off right. already my one friend has been hanging out with a frat boy (dont worry, a nice one!) and like shes known him for like 3 days tops. and like, theyve seen eachother every day. like, dont tell anyone, but boys totally scare me. like i love to talk to them and get a couple of laughs but like, this seems so like ME TARZAN, YOU JANE.
so that is why i am staying in tonight. i do not feel like hanging around a bunch of sloppy lightweights and awkwardly and slowly sipping a sprite. PLUS! on hulu there is one of my favorite movies : Witness For The Prosecution. SO GOOD. CHECK IT OUT.
i am happy.
i have a chance to go to a swap with a frat and the sorority that im in now and like, im nervous. im not sure if i want to / can go tonight. like it starts at 10 and like, im just scared a bit. like this is all new and id rather meet friends and boys like on my own terms but this is just awkward. im not very forward and im like shy when im out of my element. and i am so out of my element around sorority and frat kids. like, i would love to hangout with some nice guys and some nice girls but like, this is all too forced for me. im a bit of a homebody, like right now i would rather just staying in my bed and watching movies rather than going and feeling awkward for 2 hours. but i feel like its the first one of the year and i would like to start things off right. already my one friend has been hanging out with a frat boy (dont worry, a nice one!) and like shes known him for like 3 days tops. and like, theyve seen eachother every day. like, dont tell anyone, but boys totally scare me. like i love to talk to them and get a couple of laughs but like, this seems so like ME TARZAN, YOU JANE.
so that is why i am staying in tonight. i do not feel like hanging around a bunch of sloppy lightweights and awkwardly and slowly sipping a sprite. PLUS! on hulu there is one of my favorite movies : Witness For The Prosecution. SO GOOD. CHECK IT OUT.
i am happy.
8.17.2010
i am no longer being in a sorority. i thought it was what i wanted, but that whole idea was jaded by family members pushing me. i never really wanted to do it, actually. (have i already told you that?) so, i started hearing the reputations for the sororities and in the end, i decided i wanted none of it. i did not/do not want to associated with any of them. i was feeling pretty low at the end of the day, i had thought that a sorority was my ticket to making hundreds of friends and meeting all kinds of new people but when i found out that i would not be doing that, i realized i had to get a book and so on my way over to the ferg (the main building for mail, bookstores, cafes, etcetcetc) i heard the marching band - no wait, the million dollar band - and i totally realized what i wanted. i never wanted to suck up to people and be false and pretend to hold a decent conversation with a frat boy, i just wanted to play my flute. who would have guessed? i mean, i love the flute. ive been playing since 4th grade and i brought the dang instrument down south with me! i love it. i love music and i love to play music. i didnt want to be a sorority girl i wanted to continue being in the concert band or the marching band. i love the flute and i miss it so much. so next year im auditioning and hopefully will get in! you know, freshman year, marching band was the way i met the friends that are so dear to me. i always admired them and then when we all became friends it was as if it was all planned out. marching band and i have so many good memories together and the last two years became a little rough but i dont know why that stopped me. i cant wait!!!!!!!!!!!
8.11.2010
sororities.
hm, where to begin.
IT IS SO HOT IN ALABAMA. hows that? also idk how to use skype. hm.
sometimes i dont feel like i should be in a sorority. like i dont really look like the majority of the other girls and i sweat a lot just doing nothing (its the russian) and added with this heat, its like i just took a shower. sororities are real big down here. there is a whole process and its all serious and in like two days, i will have to walk from house to house in "strict silence". woah. its all so much to take in. i went into this whole thing not liking the idea. i felt so pushed into it, like my entire family was so excited for this and like, they told me i wouldnt fit in and they bought all kinds of clothes for me and i felt like the last piece of me, the last thing i still had, my fashion, was being snatched away. i did feel like that. there was so much pressure. and then i started to see the houses and meet the girls and now i am kind of excited for rush and real excited for the whole possibility of getting into one. i really like kappa alpha theta. their songs are real nice and they have a great house and the girls are so nice and they stand for great things. its all so exciting.
im not sure how school will be, hopefully great! and im excited to meet new girls and its so exciting! my dorm AKA THE BATCAVE is coming along nicely: i hang up animal portraits from urban and my photos from art show<3 and i have a lot of pieces of home and my roommate AKA ROBIN (get it? batman!) is not what i had imagined. i dont like her. sloppy and selfish. at least i have the window bed! VICTORY!
well ill try and keep you updated, see you next time! same bat time same bat place!
hm, where to begin.
IT IS SO HOT IN ALABAMA. hows that? also idk how to use skype. hm.
sometimes i dont feel like i should be in a sorority. like i dont really look like the majority of the other girls and i sweat a lot just doing nothing (its the russian) and added with this heat, its like i just took a shower. sororities are real big down here. there is a whole process and its all serious and in like two days, i will have to walk from house to house in "strict silence". woah. its all so much to take in. i went into this whole thing not liking the idea. i felt so pushed into it, like my entire family was so excited for this and like, they told me i wouldnt fit in and they bought all kinds of clothes for me and i felt like the last piece of me, the last thing i still had, my fashion, was being snatched away. i did feel like that. there was so much pressure. and then i started to see the houses and meet the girls and now i am kind of excited for rush and real excited for the whole possibility of getting into one. i really like kappa alpha theta. their songs are real nice and they have a great house and the girls are so nice and they stand for great things. its all so exciting.
im not sure how school will be, hopefully great! and im excited to meet new girls and its so exciting! my dorm AKA THE BATCAVE is coming along nicely: i hang up animal portraits from urban and my photos from art show<3 and i have a lot of pieces of home and my roommate AKA ROBIN (get it? batman!) is not what i had imagined. i dont like her. sloppy and selfish. at least i have the window bed! VICTORY!
well ill try and keep you updated, see you next time! same bat time same bat place!
8.10.2010
i am sitting here on my dorm room (aka THE BATCAVE) bed wishing that i was going home with my family. ive been at rush all day and im not taking a shower, so too bad 4 u. :D like, whatevs. i look nothing like these girls and im pretty okay with that. and the ones who look like me are B*TCHES. yikes! i am so tired from running around and smiling so much and talking about myself. like i dont feel like i did all of that today, like i feel sleepy but i dont feel like im in my body, like im just floating. i am having a great time here but everytime i see my family or hangout with them i just want to cry and have them scoop me back home. but i really should give bama a fair chance. ive already met two really nice ladies. and so many from the sorority rush thing just today! people are great, here is a great quote ive heard from a really nice post office lady : YOU SAY: you are so nice! SHE SAID: well, i'm really a stinker, but God made me a mirror, so whatever you see is what you are. - ISNT THAT THE SWEETEST THING YOU EVER DID HEAR? so cute.
i really like it here. except for robin (aka the roommate, from now on known as Robin (get it???? LIKE THE SIDEKICK.))
8.03.2010
ALABAMA ARKANSAS I DO LOVE MY MAW AND PAW,
BUT NOT THE WAY THAT I DO LOVE YOU.
so far, its really wonderful here. i can see myself getting lost on the campus and finding my way.
i am so happy that i have so many wonderful people surrounding me. i miss them dearly - SHOUTOUT TO ALL MY PEEPS - and when my family leaves i will miss them tremendously, however much they annoy me sometimes.
but, on the bright side, i am happy. for real, i am.
P.S. IM TRYING BBQ TOMORROW. EEEEE!!! ill let you know!
BUT NOT THE WAY THAT I DO LOVE YOU.
so far, its really wonderful here. i can see myself getting lost on the campus and finding my way.
i am so happy that i have so many wonderful people surrounding me. i miss them dearly - SHOUTOUT TO ALL MY PEEPS - and when my family leaves i will miss them tremendously, however much they annoy me sometimes.
but, on the bright side, i am happy. for real, i am.
P.S. IM TRYING BBQ TOMORROW. EEEEE!!! ill let you know!
8.01.2010
tomorrow, or rather today, i leave for college.
once again it is mind boggling how tomorrow/today my life changes drastically - completely new life ahead of me and for most, its just another sunday/summer day. i had a really good day/past few days - well bittersweet - so many people have said goodbye to me and its really wonderful to know how many people call me their friend. i love them. i am so grateful.
on the flip side, i cried so much. it seems i just have to think about it slightly - it being the fact that i am moving DOWNDOWNDOWN south for like ... months! - and i just turn into a fountain.
but really. thank you for all y'all (OH GOD) out there. its been a blast NJ, and ill see you in december!
once again it is mind boggling how tomorrow/today my life changes drastically - completely new life ahead of me and for most, its just another sunday/summer day. i had a really good day/past few days - well bittersweet - so many people have said goodbye to me and its really wonderful to know how many people call me their friend. i love them. i am so grateful.
on the flip side, i cried so much. it seems i just have to think about it slightly - it being the fact that i am moving DOWNDOWNDOWN south for like ... months! - and i just turn into a fountain.
but really. thank you for all y'all (OH GOD) out there. its been a blast NJ, and ill see you in december!
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