that graduation post that should be posted on all decent blogs

hello, i know you are all so worried and anxious to hear about a little day in the life of a high school gradutate. SO! ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, young and ....everyone who follows me is young so ... grab your seats, grab some cola, or water for those of us who are health conscious, and let the show begin!

The Kids Sleeping on the OPGRAD Bus Going Home.

After a long day of doing a lot of stuff that I feel that i did but really cant recall, we all thanked the mothers for a goodie bag and found a seat (this time! not thirsty! not tired! not smushed in a three seater!) on a bus towards home. Personally, mel (h) and i grabbed a nice seat near the middle of the bus, because that is where you get just the right amount of air and as we rode home laughing and giggling and, well basically, she almost tipped over when SHE fell asleep and i saved her, i noticed that it was only me, steve k, and nick h that were the only ones awake. i turned around and the bus, THE SAME BUS THAT WAS UBER ANNOYING ON THE RIDE TO, was all snoozing and drifting and doing that sticky and slow blinking that one does when they are tired on the ride fro. i remember looking over across the aisle at kyle h. CREEPY? no. he was sleeping in a normal way, head against windows, goodie bag under head, mouth open, diamond earrings? check. and i couldnt help but think of him as a little boy. a baby even. i mean, i never talked to him once, and he probably didnt know my name and will never know my name except for when he looks at my yearbook picture and says: "who the fuck is katherine ko-sitch?!" but i knew a little bit of him. he bounces when he walks, he has had the same girl for like 6 years, thats it? i mean, did his parents ever think of him the morning after graduation when they were teaching him how to walk or holding him close as a baby. he fell, he cried, he laughed and now he is like 18 years old, leaving home. all these kids on the bus rides, they were all smelly little babies and in that moment, you could still say they were. we all drifted home, bumping along here and there but for the most part, we were all together still. we were still united on that bus ride. and we were experiencing the last fleeting moments of our high school time, heck, our childhood. it was a nice bus ride home.

Graduation. Senior Year in Review.
all in all, i didnt feel like a senior at all this entire year, i didnt feel like it was all ending and i still dont understand that come september i will not be going through the PV doors. graduation was weird because of this. also because they said "yes, we all know where we are going" haha i wanted to stand up with my finger raised and be like, "well, not ALL of us...". that was a joke. not so funny. 'it was all a dream' best captures the feelings. walking there, having the robes on, sitting by mr. c my old chemistry teacher and walking up and getting my diploma (people cheered for me!) was all surreal. i felt like i did all of that but like, it was no big deal, that it was just another test run. all in all, it was a weird time. not sure if i am happy to leave or am sad to leave. another time maybe.

OPGRAD. Enough Memories?

opgrad was always something i never thought of. does that make sense? seriously man, i would see it on PVTV all the time when i was smaller or even an underclassman and it never applied to me. and then suddenly, i was there. graduation was weird and then i went to the diner with my family and then i scraped my knee and i still have a scar and then i went into the hot gris gym and then i got on a bus and then i got there and then i walked around and then i felt awkward and then i went to the psychic and then i found friends and then i went to the psychic again and then i met up with really great kids and then i versed a friend and then i watched a hypnotist and then i rummaged for a shirt and then i left. and it was like, WHAT?! i mean, i did a lot but i could have done more. but i had a good time. i feel like i should have seen more people or drank more soda or just talked to more people but i was so happy talking to the three people i was with. i was so happy. i love everyone! it all went by so quickly

The Drive After OPGRAD

after we got back to PV it was wierd. like, it was so early but still so much had happened. i didnt know what to do and i didnt see one of my friends so i got back into my car but on the way i saw all the people i graduated with. i saw all of our little bodies and minds walking in different directions. we had scattered. i felt a little blue. like, it was over. for real. i mean the bus ride still bonded us but now, now it was free game and we had split. it was over. the boy who parked next to me was also in his car. football player, wrestler, tall, known to be like talking to a brickwall and i never talked a day in my life to him and we looked at eachother and i saw that he too was feeling it. the end had actually come, after months and years even of bitching and moaning and it was here in the present. he didnt seem estatic and neither did i. we were 2 of 326 graduating SEN10RS who felt lost. sure, i see his fbook pics of his escapades but still, that morning, i will never forget him for the look in his eyes. the vast time ahead of us, the unsure feeling im pretty sure we all had. some of us hid it well and some ignored it, but it was there, we all know that. after that i drove around for a half an hour, driving down and up annie's road, by diners and highways and just looking at everything in a new way. just looking at all the space and thinking of what was to become of us.

How I feel old but Really Im young:
Isnt that strange? eighteen years, a long time, has gone by and ive entered and graduated from the public school system. so many years! so long! so many memories! and yet, i have so much time left and so much to do. granted, i do have this time if nothing goes wrong, but lets not get gruesome here! i mean we all have so much to complete. i cant wait to see where life brings some of my friends, i cant wait to hear of all the adventures of my fellow graduating class, i cant wait to be like 60 and think back.

the days these days are fickle. some days are drawn out and feel like an eternity. graduation day was one of those days, i did so much but at the time everything felt so long. recently, time has been flying though! today i realized that its the end of august! how has it that graduation day was like ... TWO MONTHS AGO.

i returned to PV for my gym clothes. i found out they threw them out. i dont even want to think of what irreplaceable vintage shirt they tossed out. PLUS MY PUMA PANTS PLUS MY BLACK SNEAKERS PLUS MY ADIDAS PANTS. :[ so materialistic. anyways, the hallways were still pretty long but the magic was all gone. corny? no really. there was no wondering of where my classes would be and i didnt really care where my classes were (except for the great ones) and all those memories that i had just seemed to not matter anymore and that was really sad. like for the past 4 years i would be able to at least have a chance of bringing up said memories with random people and friends but now its like "why would you bring that up?" (unless its with my friends, dont even get me started on how we love to reminice.) its just, well, im a stranger now.

is it too late to post this? well, if anyone cares, this is how i felt and how i sort of feel still. plus it'll be a good read for future me.

1 comment:

  1. Not too late at all. Funny how even the most macho ones are stunned by the end...