well. without being too dramatic i will go over what has been happening.
mrs. vasa, you are too quick! i deleted my last post about this subject but its back, basically.
i might not be going to alabama.
and by might not i mean that there is a real good chance.
why? oh money. why now? i thought everything was set and then the financial aid came in and it was like nothing, litterally. and so we waited a bit and my dad lost his job as like a biologist guy and then we sent in an income reduction form and yesterday morning they said we couldn't get anything else.
i dont think ive ever cried so much and it was hard to focus on my final after the news and it ruined my day and today seems a bit better. my friends were absolutly fantastic and invited me over and we all sat and talked and made plans for the future and im still pretty shaken up but my friends are the best in the world.
im pretty scared for the future. i will be sitting on white foldy chairs alongside all these kids who know where they are going and if they dont/are not going anywhere, they know what they'll do. i dont know if im going to college in NJ or college at all, and thats pretty rough to type.
BREAK: this is all very moany and moapy, but this is my blog. ahhaha
UNBREAK: im the kind of person who likes stability. im the kind of person who likes family tradition, so alabama was perfect. i used to be so against it but the moment i knew i wanted to go there was in NYC at the alabama alumni christmas party and my family was there and we were talking to the alumnis and this one man, a president of some corporation and the alumni club, was talking to me and told me "see this pin (a little A for alabama), i've had this pin for years and i wear it to all the games. i want you to have it" and he just popped it off and gave it to me. i so badly wanted to go there. i still want to go there. but if i do go there, my parents will be in debt. and that is not good.
im going to try to have a good day. its my last as being something/somewhere and stable.
great, im crying again.